True Forgiveness


1 Peter 4:8 “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”

True Forgiveness. What does this really mean? After much pondering and meditating on this question and after reading the above scripture, I could draw one conclusion. True forgiveness is simply-true love.

If we love deeply we forgive, period. It may take some praying, some talking about our hurts to other loved ones, confession, and even fasting if needed. At the end, we must forgive. So I’ve asked myself what does true forgiveness look like to me? How do I know when I’ve truly forgiven?

I came to another conclusion: When I can think of be with and talking to the person that hurt me and no longer think or feel any form of resentment about how they hurt me. It’s almost like I’ve forgotten what happened.

Wait. Forgotten? How is that possible?

Well, technically we can remember if we want to, but in our hearts, “forgotten” feels like what that person did or said to hurt us-never actually did happen. It feels like that hurt was never there.  I concluded that this is how I know I have truly forgiven. I don’t know if I’m right or wrong, but this is how I know I’ve resolved this in my heart.

So what helps me forgive faster? When I remember how many times a day I sin whether outwardly or inwardly in my thoughts and think of how many times God forgives me through Jesus.

I  think to myself: Who am I to hold a grudge if I wrong God multiple times a day seven days a week? Even though it’s not my intention to do so, I am actually hurting God each time. He is my Father and loves me like no one else and He always forgives me. So how can I not forgive someone else?

When I think of it this way it just makes sense! It also makes me understand humility a lot better.

Being humble is putting my pride aside to do what is right. Pride often times blocks us from forgiving, but when we see ourselves spiritually, we see that we are undeserving of all of the good that God provides to us daily (Philippians 2:3).

I have been engaged for about 3 months now and will be marrying my best friend and love of my life in just 48 days! We’re both very excited and feel so blessed! I thought this engagement would be pretty smooth and super happy 24/7 with very little worries.

Well, it turns out that God had another plan.

God knew that I needed to see some  of the ugly sides of my own character in order to repent, change, and grow. Through our marriage preparation classes and other experiences, God has exposed some things in me that I certainly need to change and right now!

It’s never easy to see the ugly side of yourself but the beauty of it is that as God’s daughter I know that He is so graceful and walks me through each step of the way.

He already knows what I will say and do before I say or do it. He guides my path and puts someone like my amazing fiancée in my life to show me much grace and compassion.

I see so much of Jesus in this man! He’s not perfect by any means! God is exposing his imperfections too! But he is the perfect man for me as God knew I needed to be with a man who is kind, compassionate, and gracious and even when he struggles with forgiveness and other things (as we all do), he quickly sees his wrong ways and takes the steps to change.

The past few months have been full of beautiful and cherished moments and also challenging moments. The great news is that the challenging moments have helped us draw closer as friends and most importantly closer to God.

Prayer and mentorship have helped us tremendously! Good communication has also been key! Oh, and let’s not forget compromise-something I know I have to work on for many years to come!

I am so very much looking forward to becoming one in marriage as God has designed it. I’m looking forward to that special day when we say “I do” and also have our first kiss! Yes-our first kiss! We chose absolute PURITY to honor God and to avoid any unnecessary temptation. 

Now, instead of fearing challenges, I now look forward to all the opportunities to forgive and be forgiven as we enter this new stage of our relationship. I’m so thankful to God for helping me to see the beauty in the opportunities to forgive. 


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