So you say you want to get married. You say your want to find the one. You want God to deliver the person of your dreams. You want to find true love.
I have just one question for you. Are you truly ready?
Before you give an answer, ask yourself the following questions:
1. Are you ready to accept the person for who they are? (Romans 15:7).
2. Are you ready to pay attention to that person-not only when it’s convenient, but at all times to make sure they receive the daily encouragement that God calls us all to give? 1 Peter 1:22.
3. Are you ready to adjust to the person? This is one of the toughest ones to do, by the way. Ephesians 5:21
4. Are you ready to constantly forgive, even when it hurts so much? Ephesians 4:22
5. Are you ready to appreciate this person and show it by your actions? 1 Thessalonians 5:11
6. Are you ready to show affection to this person (most ideally) on a daily basis? 1 Corinthians 7:3
All of these questions challenge us to look beyond our own needs. They challenge us to look to the needs of the person that we may one day marry (Philippians 2:4). They challenge is to be humble.
The above questions and scriptures are based on a lesson I recently heard: “Building A Love That Lasts” by Dr. Ed Young. It challenged me to the core. As I prayed at the end of this lesson, tears shed down my eyes because I knew that while I was married (for 7 years), I failed to adjust and forgive. Had I done this, perhaps things would have been different.
However, I am also encouraged because I believe God gives us all second chances. I have experienced God working in my life and heart over the last few years to make the changes I need-changes in my heart.
You see, God is always preparing us. He is teaching us to love one another just as He loves us. (1 Corinthians 13)
Through my current relationships (friendships and family), I am learning to constantly forgive. I am also learning to adjust, as we are all different and we must learn to love and accept one another as we are. I think once we accept one other, we can adjust to one another, as long as we are willing and humble.
Humility is the key ingredient to real change. Selflessness is the end result of the decision to be humble. Pride is what makes us fall when we don’t repent. Humility is the opposite of pride.
It isn’t always easy to chose to be humble. It is especially difficult when we’ve been wronged and hurt. However it is the only way.
We shouldn’t wait for marriage to do this. We need to do this in our daily lives right now. God will know when we are ready, and when we are, and if it is His plan for our lives (let’s remember Psalm 37:4), then we will be ready.
In my heart I do want to be married again one day. This time though, I want to be ready and willing to do all of the above. I want to be the woman that will be the glory of this man as He is the glory of God. I want to support him and be his biggest fan. I want to respect him and show it daily, from my heart. I want to be his “partner in crime”, as we serve our Lord together in the ways that He wills for us to serve. Most importantly, I want my Father to be proud of me for doing His will, with all my heart. Amen.