The last couple of weeks have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster. Particularly last week, around the days of my birthday.
Since being restored to God I never thought I would feel the way I did last week. I was faced with a temptation and it was not something I even foresaw. It was Satan at his “sneakiest”. Like a snake that is quiet and appears out of no where, that is what my temptation was like.
Thanks be to God and his holy spirit along with the deep convictions that I have built through reading the word daily and prayer, I did not fall into the temptation and so that was a big victory! However the emotions I felt the next day were tough.
As women we all want to be loved. We want to find that “special someone” who will encourage us with words and an embrace that tells us “I love you”. We want (and need) to feel protected, like having a hero in our lives, second only to God. If you’ve read my blog from the beginning, you’ll know my story.
I met my college sweetheart at F.I.U., but things did not work out as we hoped. Then, I met the man who would be my husband for 7 years, but that also did not work out as we hoped (or as I hoped). Then I dated as a single Christian mom for a year, and that was a great experience full of wonderful memories made and much growth that happened because of it, but it also did not work out as we hoped.
Now I’m single again and to be honest most of the time, I’m not thinking “I really want to get married”. I mean, I’ve been there and I know the challenges it can bring.
However, I also know that there is something wonderful about being with your best friend every day of your life. It’s a good thing to have good company by your side. Of course, without God in the middle, it’s not the same. I’ve also experienced having a marriage like that (during the last 3 years of our marriage). Things changed. Instead of living for God and having his Word help us love selflessly, it became quite the opposite.
See one thing I know for sure (not just because it’s in the bible, but because I have lived it myself) is that without God in the center of any relationship, there can never be true joy and peace. Love becomes “what can you give me” instead of “how can I serve you”, and according to 1 Corinthians 13, selfishness is not in love’s definition.
I saw and experienced the striking difference between being married as disciples of Jesus/Christians and being married as those who left God-leaving him second to everything else instead of first.
Sure, at the beginning (and even first 2-3 years) of any relationship, people can be at their best and give more than they have ever given to the person they my fall in love with, but after that time is when the real tests begin.
During the last week, I’ve sadly seen people that I love so dearly began to fall into this trap. In order to not be alone, some are settling or thinking of settling for relationships that clearly do not put God first and in the center.
I’m saddened to see this because I have been there, and I know it will never bring the joy and peace that only a God-centered (Christ-centered) relationship will bring.
Sure, every relationship will have it’s challenges, but when God is guiding and when we hold on to our true treasure-God’s word, together we can overcome all challenges that get in our way.
There is NOTHING impossible with God, as long as we surrender and let Him guide our paths.
I do look forward to one day finding my partner in the faith, my teammate, my captain, and the one I serve second to God alone. But until then, I want to ask myself every day, “God, how can I serve you today with my undivided devotion?”.